The United Nations says what?

I received two copies of this bizarre email this week. One came from unitednationloan@freenet.de, as below, the other from unitednationloanfund@freenet.de. Clearly this is absolute nonsense. The United Nations said no such thing. Don't reply, don't be fooled, by scams like this.

From: unitednationloan@freenet.de
Date: February 24, 2010 3:11:48 AM PST
Subject: Loan Notification

I am Don Juan Carlos, a Private Loan Lender and a co operate finance for small and middle class businesses in Europe and across the Globe sponsor by United Nation Secretary-General: Ban Ki-Moon, as one of the issue implement from 2009 UN general assembly meeting with the aim to promote trade with 787 Billion Dollars stimulus package sign by United state administration as to easy the present global economical recovery through the means of providing long teams loan for individual, small and middle class businesses.

This is from united Nation resolution chapter 44.9, that all nations must benefit from this stimulus package of 787 Billion Dollars sign by the present united state administration. This loan must be given to any body above 18 years of age, with or without a good credit. And every interested applicant should reply to this Email: euroglobal2010@aim.com for more inquiry.

Qualifications:
(1)The Borrower must be over 18yrs of age.
(2)Even with Bad credit, we still Guarantee the loan
(3)The Loan Can Be Granted Even with low credit
(4)There is no prepayment penalty.
(5)You do not need a Co-Signer

Repayment:
Repayment is made Monthly or Yearly depending on the choice of the borrower and The Repayment schedule for a Loan is calculated and sent to the borrower.

Interest Rate:
The Interest rate applicable to all Loans is 1.5 %.

Loan Transfer:
The Loan is Transfer to the Borrower via
(1)Account Swift Transfer
(2)Courier Delivery Service/Cheque
(3)Money Gram
(4)Western Union

Don Juan Carlos,
Manager.